venting.

well, ladies and gentlemen, it is once again the point in time wherein i find myself extremely full of some kind of emotion that needs to be released. badly.

today's emotion: frustration.

once again.

FRUSTRATION.

i just keep finding myself in situations where all i can do is just sigh and say "nevermind", or where i just shut up and wish with all my might that if keep silent, close my eyes and maybe click my heels three times, the heavens above would somehow just make certain situations go away. or at least get me away from these situations. God, how i wish.

i just

HATE

it when people don't understand me, and i especially hate it when they don't even make an effort to understand me or my situation. i hate it when people jump to conclusions. i hate it when people rely so much on you, and don't do anything for themselves. i hate it when people are so smug/cocky/obnoxious and think that they're all that, when they're not. i hate it when people are just so friggin' makulit and they can't seem to get the point that they are. i hate it how people get by certain things with NO effort whatsoever. i hate it when people pretend to be people they're not. i hate it when people just call me masungit or cranky and don't even make an effort to understand why. i hate it when all my efforts go without a thank you. i hate not being able to get a drink with friends, or watch a movie, or go to the beach, or have a leisurely lunch, or even get a good night's sleep. i hate it that some people take it too personally that i don't have time to get a few drinks, watch a movie, go to the beach, or have leisurely lunch. i hate how people jump to conclusions with what they see or hear--kung pwede naman magtanong. i hate it how some people seem to be doing so well with everything, and i can't seem to do well with a single one of my priorities. i hate having soooo much emotion and thoughts bottled up inside and not having a single person to share it with--kasi ayaw ko din. i hate knowing daaaays in advance that you're not getting any sleep tonight, tomorrow, and the day after that.

and i hate being in this state, because once i started a "i hate it how..." statement, i just couldn't seem to stop, and my mind started racing with more and more things to hate. roar.

-----------------------------
sorry.

it's just that i'm so emotionally drained--i'm so tired of trying to keep a calm and cheerful front--i'm so tired of trying to be patient and understanding and extremely nice. in fairness, i haven't had a major explosion in the last couple of weeks, so i guess it was just about time. every day is just so darn tiring, and it's taking all the effort i can possibly muster just to get through a single day.

im just so tired of being tired.

once again. today's word:

FRUSTRATION.