behind.

currently listening to: Everything/Lifehouse.

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All we can do, my love, is hope we don't take this ship down.
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the world is moving too fast... and i'm getting left behind.

it's only the second week of school, and already, i feel burnt out. there's just too much to do, and not enough time to do it. my brain cells are resigning, and i fear that my energy level will soon walk out on me as well.

in less than a week, one of my bestest, bestest friends is leaving for Canada. i'm sooooo mad at myself because i haven't been able to spend as much time with her as i'd like. i feel like such a horrible person for letting days just pass without us going out, but the harsh realities of school and responsibilties keep me from doing so. i want her to know how vast the amount of emptiness is inside me as i think of her leaving, and how i have to choke back the tears each and everytime i realize how close Tuesday is... but i can't. ches, i'm going to miss you so, so, so much. please don't go =(

i feel that my world is getting smaller. yes, i am very, very happy with my responsibilities... my dad keeps reminding me not to complain because it was my decision to do so...but my relationships with my family and friends are deteriorating. the number of people i can really talk to about anything is getting smaller and smaller, and as much as i would love to rekindle these friendships and strengthen them, the amount of physical energy i have is failing me as well. all that's left of me are the endless emotions that i bottle up and release when...when they can no longer be bottled up.

what's my point?

i'm scared to death of waking up one day and realizing that no one is left, and that i'm all alone. i'm scared of the cruel realization that the world is leaving me behind.