randomness.

currently listening to:Big Sur/The Thrills.


allow me to ramble about nothing in particular.

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i saw an old friend i haven't seen in a while, (hi dan!). anyway, he said that "i looked older" daw. i didn't really understand his comment until he called on my cellphone to explain his comment. he said that i looked like i was doing 10 things at once, and that i looked... tired. and stressed. and haggard. and blah blah blah.

dan... im not doing 10 things. im doing 11. ;).

thanks for the concern, but i'll be fine. eventually :).

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my sister and i granted another wish yesterday!!! i want to blog about it, but the pictures haven't been uploaded yet.. so.. tsaka na. yay! :).

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i was in tagaytay with my sister 2 weekends ago (just picking something up--not doing anything fun) and i saw a rainbow. it was so pretty. i made a mental note to blog about how pretty it was, and how at that moment, i realized that there are bigger, better things in life than just my personal concerns. so here i am, blogging about it--scratching it off my mental to-do-list. now i can fill up my brain with more useless things--such as my personal concerns.

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SANA CHRISTMAS NA!!! GUSTO KO NA MAGBAKASYON!!!

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i'm really, really craving for seafood pasta. a veneto seafood pasta to be exact. it's been about a month since my last forkful of seafood pasta. im suffering from withdrawal. hehe. hof, vince... hint, hint!

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ramblings over. papers to write, algebra to solve.

undecided.

currently listening to:My Heart Is Yours/Dave Matthews Band.


it's been a horribly long few days. a long few weeks. a long few months.

but time is moving way too quickly for me. i can't seem to catch up anymore.

actually, i can't make up my mind regarding what i'm complaining about--i just feel like complaning, period.

reality check.

currently listening to:Falling Into You/Alex Parks.


i admit it.

i am an unbelievably addicted, full-fledged, hard-core reality tv junkie.

anything reality tv. everything reality tv.

ask my siblings, they'll agree. in fact, even if they won't admit it--they look forward to watching with me! really! right carl? right peej? (fine, pj doesn't watch.. he "listens." and comments.)

survivor, the bachelor, the bachelorette, starting over, average joe, the amazing race, the apprentice, america's next top model, temptation island, who wants to marry my dad, queer eye for the straight guy (and girl!), combat missions, extreme makeover, for love or money, american idol, fear factor, outback jack, the look for less, elimidate, meet my folks, change of heart, the simple life, fifth wheel, blind date, knock first, clean house... you name it, i probably watch it.

if you take a look at my phone's calendar, you'll find that it's full of alarms and reminders set for certain days and times reminding me a particular show is about to come on (and what channel, of course). i kid you not.

heniway.

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although we are months/years behind the states, i watched the finale of 'who wants to marry my dad 2' (WWTMMD 2) on ETC today.

no one probably watches this show (except for me and my sister), but anyway, the gist of it is that the children of a single dad (divorced/widowed) choose a woman for him to marry (or to propose to, at least) by having all the women go through a loooong process of interviews and revelations of bad facts and talks and lie detector tests and blah blah blah. a stupid concept, but yes, it got me hooked, nonetheless.

after i watched the ending of the second season, i wasn't really satisfied, for the simple fact that i didn't like stacey, the woman that the children chose for their dad. i thought she was conniving, selfish, (a great actress, though! having the whole family believe she loves them! tsk tsk!), and.. and... let's just say i liked the other girl, suzanne, much better.

anyway.

i went online to search for news on the couple--and see where they are in their lives now. (yes, i warned you--i am a junkie.) well. instead of finding news on stacey and marty, the couple from WWTMMD 2, i saw news on don and christena, from the previous season.

apparently, don and christena have broken up. they didn't even get married. they decided to split up because neither of them were willing to relocate to another state. woohoo. such love for each other they have! and to make things even worse, when don was asked why he even bothered to join the show, he said, "The honest reason I did it was so I could spend three weeks of my life with my kids as adults. I knew it would never happen again."

goodnessgraciousgreatballsoffire.

after all the tens and thousands of episodes of reality tv shows i've seen, only Ryan and Trista from The Bachelorette got married, and are still together now.

what gets to me is that season enders of most of these reality tv shows contain a couple proclaiming undying love for each other. these shows usually end with
soulmates "finally finding each other". (the ones that have to do with "finding true love" of course--i'm not talking about fear factor or combat missions!). but after watching all these tv shows, and seeing how they all end in real life, it really makes me wonder.

it's stupid to believe that it's possible to find your 'true love' on nationwide television. it's stupid to believe that these shows aren't scripted, and that the outcomes of these shows really are unpredictable. it's silly to believe that these couples are actually in love. these people are after the money. they're after the fame.

so fine. i'm stupid. and silly.

once again...what exactly is my point?

yeah, yeah. i know.


i'm watching too much tv. i think.

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june 16, 2005. oops! i forgot! i also watch ambush makeover and last comic standing! hehehehehehe!!! =)

currently listening to:Ambulansya/Rivermaya.



Ambulansya
by Rivermaya

Hindi na tayo gagalaw
Hindi na tayo aabante
Ano kaya ang dahilan?
Construction ba o
Merong nagsalpukan?
Buti na lang may parating
Ayan naririnig ko na sa hangin
Sirenang sasagip satin
Tabi tabi po...

Ambulansya
Ambulansya

'sang binatilyo ang sakay
Akap ng nobya ngunit
Walang malay
Mahal niya ang
Magulang niya
Nais niya lamang sanang
Lumipaaaad
Ortigas, sucat at libis
Sino ang hari ng bilis?
Malayo pa ang ospital
Sino ang hari?
Sino ang hari?

Ambulansya
Ambulansya

Hala, sige! tutukan mo
Pinasingit mo
Ta's hinarangan mo
Kunwari'y kasama ka
Kunwari'y sasama ka!
Sa wakas tayo'y lumaya rin
Sa wakas tayo'y tumutulin

Ambulansya
Ambulansya

Kasasabi mo palang na
Ang galing mo talaga
Biglang kumabig ang
Ambulansya
Hesusmaryosep
Sa gitna ng kalsada
Eigteen wheeler ang
Nakabalandra
Tapak ng preno
Tapakan mo
Di kakayanin...sabi mo
Pikit lang tayo
Pikit lang tayo...

Parang wala kong nadama
Parang wala kong narinig
Halik ng bubog sa pisngi
Tuhog ng bakal sa bungo

Hindi na tayo gagalaw
Hindi na tayo gagalaw...

behind.

currently listening to: Everything/Lifehouse.

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All we can do, my love, is hope we don't take this ship down.
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the world is moving too fast... and i'm getting left behind.

it's only the second week of school, and already, i feel burnt out. there's just too much to do, and not enough time to do it. my brain cells are resigning, and i fear that my energy level will soon walk out on me as well.

in less than a week, one of my bestest, bestest friends is leaving for Canada. i'm sooooo mad at myself because i haven't been able to spend as much time with her as i'd like. i feel like such a horrible person for letting days just pass without us going out, but the harsh realities of school and responsibilties keep me from doing so. i want her to know how vast the amount of emptiness is inside me as i think of her leaving, and how i have to choke back the tears each and everytime i realize how close Tuesday is... but i can't. ches, i'm going to miss you so, so, so much. please don't go =(

i feel that my world is getting smaller. yes, i am very, very happy with my responsibilities... my dad keeps reminding me not to complain because it was my decision to do so...but my relationships with my family and friends are deteriorating. the number of people i can really talk to about anything is getting smaller and smaller, and as much as i would love to rekindle these friendships and strengthen them, the amount of physical energy i have is failing me as well. all that's left of me are the endless emotions that i bottle up and release when...when they can no longer be bottled up.

what's my point?

i'm scared to death of waking up one day and realizing that no one is left, and that i'm all alone. i'm scared of the cruel realization that the world is leaving me behind.